“The activity of love and faith is what makes heaven.”

Come, see, high above
Come, see, high in the heavens
A new star shining bright,
Out of the darkness comes a light.

Come! Hear! Midnight chimes
Come! Hear! Bells that are ringing
And from some distant shore
Sounds of a journey echo on

This is the night
They say, everyone wants a dream.
This is the night
They say nothing is as it seems.

Come, sleep, close your eyes
Come, sleep, give me your sorrow
And I'll keep watch for you
Until the dawn is breaking through,
Until the morning wakens you.

Come, dream, through the night
Come, dream, and then tomorrow
You’ll see your heart will know
Dreams are more precious than gold.

Some memorable quotations from Virginia Woolf's Orlando:

No passion is stronger in the breast of man than the desire to make others believe as he believes. Nothing so cuts at the root of his happiness and fills him with rage as the sense that another rates low what he prizes high. Whigs and Tories, Liberal party and Labour party—for what do they battle except their own prestige? It is not love of truth but desire to prevail that sets quarter against quarter and makes parish desire the downfall of parish. Each seeks peace of mind and subserviency rather than the triumph of truth and the exaltation of virtue—but these moralities belong, and should be left to the historian, since they are as dull as ditch water.

Such is the indomitable nature of the spirit of the ... age, however, that it batters down anyone who tries to make stand against it far more effectually than those who bend its own way. Orlando had inclined herself naturally to the Elizabethan spirit, to the Restoration spirit, to the spirit of the eighteenth century, and had in consequence scarcely been aware of the change from one age to the other. But the spirit of the nineteenth century was antipathetic to her in the extreme, and thus it took her and broke her, and she was aware of her defeat at its hands as she had never been before. For it is probable that the human spirit has its place in time assigned to it; some are born of this age, some of that.

But Orlando paused ... It is these pauses that are our undoing. It is then that sedition enters the fortress and our troops rise in insurrection. Once before he had paused, and love with its horrid rout, its shawms, its cymbals, and its heads with gory locks torn from the shoulders had burst in. From love he had suffered the tortures of the damned. Now, again, he paused, and into the breach thus made, leapt Ambition, the harridan, and Poetry, the witch, and Desire of Fame, the strumpet; all joined hands and made of his heart their dancing ground.

They began to suspect that she had other beliefs than...their own, and the older men and women thought it probable that she had fallen into the clutches of the vilest and cruelest among all the Gods, which is Nature. Nor were they far wrong. The English disease, a love of Nature, was inborn in her, and here, where Nature was so much larger and more powerful than in England, she fell into its hands as she had never done before.

"These skirts are plaguey things to have about one's heels. Yet the stuff (flowered paduasoy) is the loveliest in the world. Never have I seen my own skin (here she laid her hand on her knee) look to such advantage as now. Could I, however, leap overboard and swim in clothes like these? No! Therefore, I should have to trust to the protection of a blue-jacket. Do I object to that? Now do I?" she wondered, here encountering the first knot in the smooth skein of her argument.

Puis il les emmena jusque vers Béthanie et, levant les mains, il les bénit. Or, comme il les bénissait, il se sépara d'eux et fut emporté au ciel. Eux, après s'être prosternés devant lui, retournèrent à Jérusalem plein de joie, et ils étaient sans cesse dans le Temple à bénir Dieu. Amen.

Luc 24, 50-53

Tout innocence vient du Seigneur. Dans la Parole, le Seigneur est appelé Agneau, car l'agneau signifie l'innocence. L'innocence étant l'intime dans tout bien du Ciel, elle affecte grandement les mentals. Celui qui la sent, comme à l'approche d'un ange du ciel le plus élevé, ne semble plus être son propre maître; il est ému, et transporté par un tel plaisir qu'aucun plaisir au monde ne semble rien en comparaison de celui-là.

Le Ciel et l'Enfer 282

These are excerpts from religion lessons I'm helping format. I love reading the Lord's Word in different languages. Since I don't understand each detail of the literal words it somehow becomes more meaningful because the focus is on the message within the words. Plus French is more beautiful than English :)

And behold, a certain lawyer stood up and tested Him, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”

He said to him, “What is written in the law? What is your reading of it?”

So he answered and said, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself.’”

And He said to him, “You have answered rightly; do this and you will live.”

But he, wanting to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

Then Jesus answered and said: “A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, who stripped him of his clothing, wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a certain priest came down that road. And when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. Likewise a Levite, when he arrived at the place, came and looked, and passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion. So he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. On the next day, when he departed, he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said to him, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I come again, I will repay you.’  So which of these three do you think was neighbor to him who fell among the thieves?”

And he said, “He who showed mercy on him.”

Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”


Happy Easter!

To do this:
1. Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
- The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2. Go to "Random Quotations" or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
- The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3. Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
- Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.

5. Upload it somewhere, like photobucket and post completed work here.

Finished product:

What do you do when you can't fall asleep?

I haven't slept well in almost two weeks. Once I fall asleep I'm fine, but I spend hours every night just waiting to fall asleep, even when I'm exhausted. I've tried reading, music, tea, stretches, various pillows, and various lights on or off but nothing seems to work. I haven't had caffeine after lunch for almost a week.

I originally blamed my sleeplessness on being sick a couple weeks ago and getting my sleep pattern messed up. But it's not getting any better and I'm running out of ideas!

I just stumbled upon this passage and felt compelled to post it so I don't forget. It fits so well with one of my favorite (maybe actually my favorite? I have no idea) teachings of the New Church is that "All religion is of life; and the life of religion is to do good" (Doctrine of Life 1).

My confirmation service today was absolutely wonderful. I don't really want to write about it here, because I know whatever I say won't describe what was really going on in my mind. But I do want to share the passages I used in my confession of faith that I pieced together to read during the service.  The focus for me was what it means to be part of the New Church.

The Lord from eternity, who is Jehovah, came into the world to conquer the hells and glorify His humanity, and without this no mortal could have been saved; and those are saved who believe in Him.  Apocalypse Revealed 67

The Lord's kingdom is the neighbor that is to be loved in the highest degree, because the Lord's kingdom means the church throughout the world….He who loves the Lord's kingdom loves all in the whole world who acknowledge the Lord and have faith in Him and charity towards the neighbor; and he loves also all in heaven.  True Christian Religion 416

The Lord’s kingdom on earth is not called the church from this, that the Word and doctrines from the Word are in it, nor from this, that the Lord is known in it and the sacraments are there administered; but it is the church from this, that people live according to the Word, or according to doctrine from the Word, so that this doctrine is the rule of life.  Everyone who lives in the good of charity and faith is a church and kingdom of the Lord.  Arcana Celestia 6637

(The) New Church is the crown of all the churches that have hitherto existed on the earth because it is to worship one visible God in whom is the invisible like the soul in the body.  True Christian Religion 787

The means whereby the church is established in a person are acts of repentance. Acts of repentance are all such things as cause the person not to will and consequently not to commit evils, which are sins against God.  True Christian Religion 510

In its essence, conjugial love is the fundamental love of all loves in heaven and the church, because it originates from the marriage between good and truth, and from this marriage spring all the loves which form heaven and the church in a person. Conjugial Love 65

The sole end of God’s Divine love when He created the world was to conjoin humankind to Himself and Himself to humankind that He might thus dwell with them.  True Christian Religion 786

I wanted to write a journal entry about Sherlock Holmes, but I seem to have posted an extremely favorable entry back in April of this year so there's really no need. I do have to mention that I must have written that entry shortly after finishing one of my favorite stories because I'm practically reeling with enthusiasm.

http://elinor-dashwood.livejournal.com/71078.html

Sterndale “How do you know that?”
Holmes “I followed you.”
Sterndale “I saw no one.”
Holmes “That is what you may expect to see when I follow you."
(The Adventure of the Devil's Foot)

Read the stories online here:
http://www.sherlockian.net/canon/index.html

Only two weeks of student teaching left. And that's really only seven school days since Thursday and Friday of next week are Thanksgiving break, and the last Friday the kids are planning a surprise party for me. This term has FLOWN past faster than ever. I have all my lessons charted out for the remaining weeks. Of course I'll have to revise them a lot and even cut out whole sections (I forgot I need to give a test), but having a rough outline of the remaining days makes it all feel so final. That's it, when I'm done these lessons I'll be DONE. The thought of leaving makes me really sad. It will be lovely to have time to sort out the rest of my life, but gosh I'm going to miss those kids. I'll definitely have to visit them if I don't end up teaching them later in the year.

I am applying for the teaching job. There are still plenty of aspects that terrify me, but I have confidence that I'll do alright. It helps a lot that the other teachers around seem to assume that I'll be fine.

Now I just have to fill out paperwork as quickly as possible and hope it all goes through in time. Unfortunately things are moving very slowly. I have to wait for my Praxis scores before I can submit my request for certification, then I have to use my certification to request my degree, and then once I have all of those legal forms I can apply to the school district. I'll be interviewed by the district and put on their list of available teachers. Then Northeast calls the school district and gets me put at the top of the list for this position.

So, writing of paperwork, this weekend I'm spending most of my time grading. The project for our last unit was to make up a character who lived during the American Revolution and create a portfolio about the person. I had them research the time period and write a biography, journal entry, letter, and creative piece (poem, picture, story, etc.). I liked the project a lot, and so did many of the students, but now I'm grading 60 of them this weekend...I better go get some coffee.

45 ODD Things about you! FILL IT OUT and pass it along

1. Do you like blue cheese salad dressing? Wholeheartedly NO

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? Nope.

3. Do you own a gun? No. But I have friends who do.

4. Your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty? coffee with cream

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Yes, usually because I'm afraid of being late.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? It really depends on how hungry I am. I'm pretty bored by the thought of hot dogs most of the time, but if I'm hungry sometimes they are perfect. They're best grilled.

7. Favorite Christmas song? I can't narrow it down: Coventry Carol; Silent Night; O Come, O Come Emmanuel; Do You Hear What I Hear?

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Tea

9. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? a topaz necklace from my Nana

10. Favorite hobby? Reading

11. Do you have A.D.D.? No.

12. What's one trait that you hate about yourself? I think about myself too much.

13. If someone deleted a question on a meme like this, would you make up a new one to replace it? No.

14. Middle name? Elizabeth

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? I wonder how long I can hold this sip of tea in my mouth. It's chilly in here. When is someone going to log on to gmail and talk to me.

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Tea, coffee, water

17. Current worry right now? That I'll be broke for months.

19. Favorite place to be? Curled up under my quilt with a book.

20. How did you bring in the New Year? With friends.

21. Do you like to travel? Yes, but wherever I am I usually wish I was with people at home.

22. Name three people who will complete this? Alison, Kristine, Merry (I cheated since you've already all done it)

23. Do you own slippers? Yes, am wearing them now. They're made of fleece (the real kind) and are the only slippers that always keep my feet warm. It's cold in here.

24. What color shirt are you wearing? Pale green and a darker green vest (got to layer-up in this house).

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I haven't tried, but I don't think so. Too cold.

26. Can you whistle? Yes.

27. Favorite color? Purple, lavender, green, and white.

28. Would you be a pirate? I'd be whatever my friends and family ended up being.

29. What songs you sing in the shower? I make up hymns.

30. Favorite girls' names? Cecily, Flora, Sophia, Beatrice, Matilda

31. Favorite boys' names? Samuel, Joshua, Dashiell, Victor, Emery

32. What's in your pocket right now? 3 elastic hairbands

33. Last thing that made you laugh? A student saying she'd quit school when my student teaching ended.

34. Best bed sheets as a child? They were pale brown with water color birds and some kind of Oriental writing. The softest cotton because they were so worn.

35. Worst injury you've ever had? inflamed iris

36. Do you love where you live? I do love Bryn Athyn.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2

38. Who is your loudest friend? Sylvia, for sure.

40. Does someone have a crush on you? Of course. I just have to figure out who.

41. What is your favorite book? The Word. Or if you want fiction: Sherlock Holmes (AC Doyle), Crown Duel (Sherwood Smith), A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (Mark Twain), The Silver Sword (Angela Elwell Hunt)...lots more

42. What is your favorite candy? Raisinets

43. Favorite Sports Team? ANC soccer, cause my brother's on the team

44. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Sleeping and shivering. It's cold in my room -- have I mentioned?

45. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? "If I add eight minutes to that time will it still be before 6 am?"

Yesterday we had staff development and the magnet teachers got to attend a presentation by a representative from NASA. She was incredibly smart and really good at demonstrating methods for teaching science in the classroom. At one point she had us orbiting around the room as if we were the earth going around the sun. I don't know if I just never heard some of this information before, or if it was her method of presenting it all, but the solar system is so amazing. It was a great reminder that the Lord is at work beyond just our earth. For example, seasons are caused because we're tilted on an axis with the North Pole always pointing toward the North Star. While we orbit, if the sun is between the earth and the North Star then since we're pointing at the Star the North Pole will also be pointing right toward the sun -- that's our summer. If the earth is between the sun and North Star, the North Pole will point away from the sun -- that's our winter. And because we're on a tilt, the more north/south we are the more scattered the sun's rays become. We're not receiving less light in the winter than in the summer, but it's spread out over a greater distance because of the angle. It's really amazing to think about how this reflects our spiritual lives.



Another cool fact was that once something is in orbit around a body it takes an enormous amount of energy to break out of that orbit and circle something else. Doesn't that seem to illustrate ideas about forming a new will so well? Or even just on a natural-human level -- it's just like breaking and developing habits. It takes a lot of work to break out of a habit.

And probably my favorite: did you know we don't orbit in a perfect circle? It's almost a complete circle, but the earth actually does move closer and farther away from the earth at certain points. Many people incorrectly think this is what causes the seasons. But actually we're closest to the sun in January. Now I know only the Northern Hemisphere has winter in January, but do you think it's a coincidence that the earth is closest to the sun during the coldest, darkest part of the year? It reminded me so strongly of how even though we can't see Him, the Lord is very close to us when we're going through rough, dark times.

So those were just some of my thoughts from yesterday that I wanted to share. I don't know how much of the scientific material I'll be able to use in my social studies classes, but I can definitely help my students see how trends in their own lives are mirrored in the world around them.

I've spent a lot of time and energy thinking over this decision about whether I should teach at Northeast in the spring or not. I've appreciated all the comments and advice from friends (on LJ and in person).

Part of my problem is that I've approached student teaching thinking that I would be completely finished with the program, school, faculty, students, etc. come December. Of course I expected to keep up relationships that started at Northeast, especially with my cooperating teacher and other supportive faculty members, but I expected those to evolve into social relationships rather than professional. I never approached troubles with a "quick fix," but I have consciously gathered courage from thinking I would be gone before the problems resurfaced.

I'm going to try an experiment this week. I'm going to pretend I've been offered and accepted the job and see how it changes my perspective and interactions other people -- especially with my students. Do I treat them differently knowing I'll be their teacher until June?

If I want to make Northeast my home I'll have to truly put my heart into it. It's the only way I'll ever make a decent teacher. It doesn't matter how much time, energy, and determination I put into the job -- if I can't find something to be passionate about I'll be miserable. I don't want to brace myself up every morning on my drive to work. I want to be as comfortable striding down the halls as I am lounging at home. So that's another part of this week-long test. What parts of teaching do I most love? Can I make Northeast my home?

I know many people aren't lucky enough to pick and choose between jobs, but gosh darn it I did not go through hellish 18-credit terms and bizarre application frustrations to force myself into a job where I'm not happy.

If I want to, I may be hired to teach at Northeast the second half of the year. My cooperating/mentor teacher is taking a sabbatical and I've been encouraged to apply to be her replacement. Choosing her replacement is up to the School District of Philadelphia (not the high school) but she said with recommendations from her and other staff members I'm almost certain to get it.

Pros:
I already know the classes, students, and school building.
I'm familiar with some of the faculty and staff.
I'd have a full-time job.
I'd be done in June so I could look at other choices then.
I know the other social studies teachers would support me.
My co-op would be around (meaning an email or phone call away) if I need advice.
I'd be independent.
It looks good to future employers that I was hired where I student-taught.

Cons:
Being a real teacher is A LOT HARDER than student teaching....
I'd be starting part-way through the year so orientation would be tricky.
I'd only have a couple of weeks to recover from student teaching before launching into the job.
I don't have any other job offers to compare it to and it's not the kind of environment I planned to teach in.
If things get tough dropping out isn't really an option (probably legally it is but not for me personally).
I'll be stressed and panicky until June.

I really don't think my perspective of the situation and my future is really clear right now. On good days I feel awesome about teaching, on bad days I don't even want to get out of bed. It's really hard to predict or influence good and bad days, and it seems like all my ideas for the future change depending on what mood I'm in. I need some kind of stability in my head. So far my plan has been to finish student teaching and get that stability or balance by doing something unrelated to teaching for a few months while I apply for jobs. That way I could observe myself and the teaching world without my ideas changing every day. Now I wonder if that's just me being lazy.

There's also the separation between my life at Northeast and my life in Bryn Athyn. If I choose one I feel like I'll lose the other.

Anyway, I have a month or so to decide, but these are the thoughts floating through my head these days. If you have any advice...feel free to respond :D